This is for a Community College English 100 class and if I get an A on this essay, then I get credit for 101 so, I dont have to do Eng.101 next quarter. Saves time and money for me. Gotta get an A!
Okay. I wrote a 7 page rough draft about why diversity is a dumb idea. Anyway, I will provide you with a draft of it. It needs a lot of work.
I don’t want the essay to be completely redone because the teacher might suspect something, so use what I have and perfect it. I need to get an A on this.
This is what the teacher said about it:
“Develop a larger more detailed intro to draw the reader in”
Delete extra lines between paragraphs.
Is this an issue of diversity or graduation requirements and who gets to set them?
(he’s talking about the paragraph where i talk about cornell univeristy. you’ll see it)
Do students only take courses that “interest” them? What about general education requirement? (he’s talking about the cornell univeristy paragraph. you’ll see it)
Does Brooks discuss the photo?
“Do you know an actual example of this? You can’t makeup evidence and expect it to work?” (He’s referring to the part where I talk about news reporters”
“The argument needs to be more direct though and specific. Is this thesis focused on hypocrisy? If so, who or what is being hypocritical? People? Institutions? Everyone? Who or what needs to change? Second, with a revised thesis. examine your evidence. Do all the examples work? Do they fit? Third, what do you want the results to be? The conclusion must follow from the thesis and argument.
Also, please include the opposition and rebuttal in the essay. Here is what I have for the opposition and rebutall:
The opposition might bring up the “contact” theory which says that diversity brings new ideas into different settings and that we all can benefit from coming together. They also say that if you spend more time with people of other backgrounds, then better teamwork and understanding will be achieved.
Rebuttal: While spending time with people of different backgrounds may generate new ideas and better, teamwork, it can also lead to tension and arguing which is also called the “conflict” theory. Each person has a different set of ideas that they automatically bring to the table and when they veer away from their ideas that they are the most familiar with, tension builds. If you take into account human nature and people wanting to associate with people similar to them, then the “conflict” theory is more truthful than the “contact” theory.
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