. Minor issue but APA style has the “Abstract” on its own page.
2. In the abstract you say that victims of mental illness “are often violent and hostile.” Did you mean, they are perceived that way? If not, please insert the citation for this statement. The next sentence your write, “This study draws a close research on the relationship between mental illness and crime.” What study? This goes against the next sentence in your Abstract. Please review the entire paragraph to make sure it flows and that you capture your paper — the point of the Abstract is to be a mini-version of your paper.
3. Under “Description of the Problem” — second paragraph, what research are you citing? You refer to the research quite a bit but without citations.
4. Page 3, second paragraph. This first sentence is confusing to the reader, what is the point you’re trying to make?
5. Page 4, please cite the Canadian study. The next paragraph, “the study found out that more women in justice system . . .” what study?
6. Your descriptions of current approaches to the problem are great, don’t change anything here.
7. Your discussion about defense mechanism is very confusing to the reader. I think you’re trying to posit that drug addiction is the mental illness most likely associated with ‘true’ criminal activity but I get lost in what you are trying to say. Are you suggesting a treatment approach using defense mechanisms? Remember you are trying to convince your reader to try these novel approaches. Be sure to explain the benefit as it relates to criminal activity.
8. Please be sure to include a summary or conclusion to your paper to recap.
9. Lastly, have a friend or colleague read through your paper to make sure it makes sense to others. Often when we write, we are so familiar with the literature that we understand it but forget that others are not as familiar as we are.
Thanks again for being willing to make the extra effort.
Dr. Englert
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