This is for a rewrite. It was already turned in but I failed it because it was off topic, there was not enough background research done for it, the thesis statement and research question is unclear, and the apa formatting is wrong.
The class is called ‘minorities in the U.S.’ therefore it should focus on a certain ethnic group (i chose Jewish/Yiddish) and talk about their situation as a minority in the u.s. What I did wrong was.. I lacked background information for the Jewish immigration waves and history, and I lack a point/argument for this paper.
The main research question for this paper is: How did Yiddish become essential to the Jewish identity in the U.S.?? (Please incorporate that into the introduction)
Here are the following critiques and changes my professor wants from this paper in order to receive a good grade:
1. No clear research question in introduction: How did Yiddish become essential to the Jewish identity in the U.S.? Needs to be incorporated into the introduction. Thesis statement is also unclear, thesis statement needs to answer the main research question.
2. Time frame is not organized, jumps back and forth from 1980’s to 1990’s, and needs to be specific in which time frame the paper is focused on (needs organization).
3. Needs a section of background information on Jewish immigrants (make that the first section) talk about how waves of Jewish immigration and how it contributed to the building of Jewish identity in the U.S. and how this answers the question of how Yiddish influences the Jewish identity
4. Each section needs to answer or correspond to the main research question: how did Yiddish become essential to the Jewish identity?
5. In introduction: the last paragraph talks about which section will cover which (not organized), each section needs to be explained in introduction how it contributes to answering the main research question.
(This paper is an attempt to demonstrate that the political sphere can indeed be influenced by the personal. To illustrate this belief, I will start off by introducing Yiddish as a political tool and part of the Jewish culture. The following chapter will then discuss the factors participating in American Politics versus maintaining Jewish identity. Lastly, the paper will end with political unrest and the equating of Jewishness with Communism. ) These sections need to explain how they contribute to answering the main research question: How did Yiddish become essential to the Jewish identity in the U.S.?
6. Needs more sources (find sources on how languages shape identities (definitions), incorporate that). Find at least 5 more sources to incorporate into the paper (for background information on shaping of Jewish identity and Jewish immigration history in the U.S.).
7. Paper needs to be more organized and structured well. Each section needs to apply back to the research question.
8. A section needs to be added (as the first section) to give background knowledge on Jewish immigrants in the U.S. (e.g. first wave immigration, etc) how it contributes to Jewish identity in the U.S. and how Yiddish is shaped.
9. E.G. ‘The fact that many older Jews felt that speaking Yiddish was integral to their culture probably helped bridge that gap.’ A lot of vague sentences, needs background information to support. Change please.
Attached below is my paper that was turned in (but failed) Please use that as a base for a rewrite, but please change it up completely (according to the points given above by the professor).
I am hoping for a complete change of this paper; yes I am willing to see some of my own writing from my original paper, the professor wants to see these changes too.
It also needs more research materials with background information on Jewish immigrants in the U.S. as well. The paper did not really serve a point, just seemed to be rambling and giving information from 2 books with no organization and background information on Jewish immigration to the U.S.. It needs research materials and comparisons, and recent articles to back up arguments.
Also attached below are some more resources that I would like to incorporate into this paper.
Please send me an outline of a proposal as to how this paper can be changed up accordingly to the points given by the professor above.
Please add addition sources on background information and others to provide changes to what the professor is seeking.
Here are the links for the sources i have so far (please add 5-6 more):
Burstein, Paul. “Kenneth L. Marcus. Jewish Identity and Civil Rights in America. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2010. Xi, 211 Pp.” AJS Review: 178-81. Print.
Cohen, Hagit. The Demands of integration- The challenges of ethniczation: Jewish women’s Yiddish reading circles in north America between the two world wars. Nashim 16, pp. 98-129. 2008.
“Jewish Ideas Daily » Daily Features » The Politics of Yiddish.” Jewish Ideas Daily » Daily Features » The Politics of Yiddish. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.
Khrushchev, Nikita. Speech to 20th Congress of the C.P.S.U. 1956. Retrieved from https://www.marxists.org/archive/khrushchev/1956/02/24.htm
Lansky, Aaron. Outwitting History: The Amazing Adventures of a Man Who Rescued a Million Yiddish Books. Chapel Hill, N.C.: Algonquin of Chapel Hill, 2004. Print.
Michels, Tony. A Fire in Our Hearts: Yiddish Socialists in New York. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2005. Print
Snitow, Alan. An American Jewish identity crisis. Tikkun, 2012. Available from: http://www.tikkun.org/nextgen/an-american-jewish-identity-crisis
Cohen Hagit’s text is also attached below
two books were used as sources:
1. Michels, Tony. A Fire in Our Hearts: Yiddish Socialists in New York. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2005. Print
2. Lansky, Aaron. Outwitting History: The Amazing Adventures of a Man Who Rescued a Million Yiddish Books. Chapel Hill, N.C.: Algonquin of Chapel Hill, 2004. Print.
Others are links that can easily be found.
Like I said please find 5-6 more sources to complete the requirements said my professor above.
Please send me an outline as soon as possible before writing.
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