Interpersonal Communication Project Active Listening

Interpersonal Communication Project Active Listening
Part I: Literature Review
In the academic arena, however, listening has largely received little attention as compared to the other language skills (reading writing and speaking), both in theory and practice. The three language skills of reading, writing and speaking have received direct instructional attention. However, many teachers have always assumed that their students will acquire listening skills automatically. According to Osada (2004), this tendency is based on the assumption that as long as students listen to the target language long enough, they will acquire and improve their listening skills through experience. The main drive behind this little academic attention is the notion that listening is a passive skill (Newkirk & Linden, 2005). In recent years, however, listening has begun to receive much attention.
Indeed, communication is not just about talking. It is also about listening. In fact, listening should perhaps constitute most of the communication time. Besides, communication is about understanding others; their needs, desires, fears and expectations, among others. But for people to be able to express all that, the addressee should be able to “inject feelings of confidence and belief” (Sharma & Sharma, 2011, p.245) in them. In this respect, active listening is a vital element of communication. Most importantly, active listening is about understanding the addresser. It is requires one to understand that the other person is important. Therefore, it is not just about hearing the words, but also the words used and the tonal variations that accompany it. Active listening is “the key to developing and maintaining relationships, decision making and problem solving” (Sharma & Sharma, 2011, p.246). However, many take this virtue for granted. In fact, it is perhaps the least mastered. As a result, many interpersonal relationships suffer.
Listening, most importantly, involves spoken language (speech). According to Buck (2001), there are three features of spoken language that are central to the listening comprehension construct. First, speech is encoded by sound. Second, speech is linear and occurs in real time, and, therefore, provides no chance for review. Finally, spoken language is linguistically different from written language.
The fact that speech occurs in real time poses a bigger problem to efficient listening. In this case, listening exists in time and not space. Therefore, listeners should be able to comprehend the expressed message that the speaker delivers (Morley, 2001). Listening, therefore, involves attending to a continuous stream of spoken language timed by the listener (Newkirk & Linden, 2005). However, the listener cannot control the speed at which the speaker delivers his/her message. Second, the listener cannot always ask the speaker to repeat the words. To ask the speaker to repeat themselves frequently might make them think that one is not listening well enough. This may become an even bigger problem to communication. Third, the speaker may use words the listener does not know their meanings. In other words, the listener may have limited vocabulary. In such cases, the listener may take a while figuring the meaning of the word and end up missing the next part of the speech. Other problems include failure to recognize signals, such as when the speaker is shifting from one point to another; and listener’s lack of contextual knowledge, among others (Osada, 2004).
Despite these difficulties, however, active listening can greatly enhance one’s ability to understand the speaker. Sharma and Sharma (2011), examining active listening for Human Resource managers, outline a number of active listening strategies and skills. Active listening is consistent with supportive communication and not defensive communication. More specifically, active listening involves intense concentration on what the speaker says, tuning out distracting miscellaneous thoughts in the process; empathy (that is, understanding what the speaker is communicating and not what the listener wants to hear); exhibiting supportive behavior, such as eye contact, affirmative nods, as well as appropriate facial expressions; avoiding distracting gestures and actions, interruptions (such as asking questions), among others.
Part II: Application of Interpersonal Concepts
I have since put to practice the interpersonal concepts I learned in my communication with my girl/boyfriend. Sometimes this has occurred via phone. However, it is hard to exercise active listening. For example, both people involved need to be sure the other person is on the other side paying attention. But I must also wait and be sure he/she is done saying what he/she wants to say. However, since I am not there in person, meaning that he/she cannot see my non-verbal cues, I only rely on other signals, such as saying “uh-huh”. But there is the risk of using this signal too less (which may be interpreted as me ignoring him/her) or too much (which he/she may interpret as interruption). Still, there are ways to express active listening. For example, I make sure not to introduce new topics of conversation when we are in the middle of another as it would mean I am thinking of other things instead of paying enough attention to the issue currently at hand.
Mostly, though, I have applied these concepts in face-to-face meetings. First, I take note of my posture. In other words, I make sure I am facing him/her directly; that is, not sitting side ways or having my head or eyes turned to another direction. This makes them feel/know that I give them my full attention. It encourages him/her to talk. Sometimes I also hold his/her hand. As they spoke, I encouraged them to go on by nodding my head and saying “uh huh”. I did my best not to interrupt them unless it was necessary, such as when I did not understand a word he/she used or its meaning in the context. But I waited until he/she took a pause and asked them in a way to show them that I just wanted to understand them better. I did this by expressing what I had understood so far (this showed them I was indeed listening) and said, “but I don’t understand well what you mean by ….”
I did not tell my girl/boyfriend that I was engaging in strategic communication in an effort to produce a particular outcome. I did not do this because it might have seemed to him/her that I was not necessarily making steps to do things right, but only as part of an experiment, which would have been a major obstacle.
Nonetheless, he/she seemed to respond positively to my strategies and he/she opened up more. In fact, he/she did let me know he/she had noticed a change in me, ‘How you listen to me,” he/she said.
Indeed, active listening skills are vital to effective and efficient communication between two people. I am witnessing that and I believe if I keep at it, it will produce more relational benefits.

References
Buck, G. (2001). Assessing Listening. New York: Cambridge University
Press
Morley, J. (2001). Aural Comprehension Instruction: Principles and Practices, in
M. Celce-Murcia (Ed.), Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language. Boston: Heinle & Heinle Publishers
Newkirk, W. & Linden, R. (2005). Improving Communication through Active
Listening. Emergency Medical Services, 11 (7), 8-11
Osada, N. (2004). Listening Comprehension Research: a Brief Review of the Past Thirty
Years. Dialogue, 3, 53-66
Sharma, S. & Sharma, N. (2011). Listening Skills: a Pre-Requisite for Grievance
Handling. VSRD International Journal of Business & Management Research, 1(4), 245-252