Plain/Persuasive Style Analysis of Professional Document.

English 310: Spring Quarter 2015
Assignment #1: Plain/Persuasive Style Analysis of Professional Document

Topic Outline
1. Style: general comments
a. Writing Process
b. Voice
2. Two common ways to organize a text
a. Plain
b. Persuasive
c. Samples of plain and persuasive documents
d. Student sample analysis
3. Editing: general comments
4. Common considerations when editing
*Plus in class editing exercise in small groups
6. Readings
Handbook of Technical Writing:
Audience, pp. 46-47 Point of View, p. 385
Audience and Writing Style, pp. 106-109 Purpose, p. 455
Context, pp. 101-103 Style, p. 536-538
Mood, pp. 354-355 Tone, p. 556 Persuasion, p. 395-396 Visuals, p. 576-581
Plain Language, p. 403-405 Voice, p. 581-584
Sense of Style:
Chapter 1: Good Writing, pp. 11-26

7. Due Date: Monday, April 13

Assignment Description and Considerations
Find a professional document and analyze its style according to the considerations discussed in class. Be sure to choose a document that is substantial enough to warrant a textual analysis. We will be discussing appropriate choices at length in class. However, these documents should not be confused with reportage or informative articles from magazines, journals, newspapers or web sites. Policy statements, letters from the president of an organization or corporation, financial statements, a portion of a yearly report to shareholders or stakeholders, etc. are all appropriate for this assignment.

The following are questions to help you with your analysis: Is your chosen document primarily written in plain or persuasive (or a combination of both) style? What is its purpose? Who is the audience? Underline key words and phrases in the document. Based on the words underlined, what is the tone used in the document? What kind of text organization is used in your document? Is it effective? How might you improve this document? Does it use any similes or metaphors to explain difficult concepts? What about the coherence and cohesion of the text?
Note: Your analysis should be at least two to three typed pages. Please submit the link to document.

Assignment Organization and Analysis of Text

1. Paragraph One: Introduction should contain author of document, document’s purpose and audience. You need to identify whether your document is plain or persuasive, or both.
2. Body paragraphs: Body of analysis should contain a thoughtful analysis of how the author of your document communicates his/her plain or persuasive message. You need to address author’s word choices, tone, register, organization, coherence and cohesion. Other rhetorical concerns to consider: coherence and cohesion of message.
3. Conclusion: You need to offer suggestions for improving the document. If you have no suggestions and think the author wrote a well-considered piece that accomplishes his/her rhetorical goals, you must state why you think so.

Style

Introduction
We have ten weeks to work together this quarter. While that is not a very long time to develop your technical/professional writing techniques and rhetorical strategies, you can improve. Whether you enjoy writing, tolerate it as a necessity, or try to avoid it if at all possible, developed communication skills have become an intrinsic part of the workplace. One of the focuses of this unit will be to raise your awareness of strategies that can save you precious time creating a text. As you have certainly learned in previous English courses, it behooves you to take a few seconds or minutes depending on your text to define you purpose, audience or stakeholders, appropriate register and tone.

We will be addressing some basic ways to formulate a text. Even though this sounds like such a no-brainer, it helps you stay focused on your writing task, thereby saving you precious time. Besides, all good writers have a system or process that they follow, and they routinely re-evaluate it for ways to improve it or make it more appropriate for different environments. They are aware of techniques and strategies that help them create solid documents and texts. Before examining two basic ways to construct a text, I would like to say a few words about pre-writing.

Writing Process
Becoming more aware of your own writing process is important, especially when you are busy and don’t want to spend more time than you have to writing your text. This is important for those with busy schedules and for those who don’t especially like to write. Saving time writing a text over time helps you create a happier relationship with your written communication.

Voice
Every one has his/her own voice. It is best to use language that you are comfortable with. Misused vocabulary can take away your professional credibility quickly. Awareness of your own voice does not happen over night, but develops over the course of your career.

Plain or Persuasive Texts (adapted from Technical Communication Today)
Every document that you write has a style whether you are aware of it or not. Therefore, one of the goals of this assignment is to assist you in writing documents that utilize an appropriate style for the purpose. This is not a one-size-fits-all prospect. In technical and professional documents, there are two common styles: plain and persuasive. These, of course, are not the only ones, but they are very common styles.

• Plain—This style emphasizes clarity and accuracy. Using straightforward language, active voice, shorter sentences, you can make your document easier to understand and faster to read.

• Persuasive—Using a persuasive strategy, you can motivate readers to continue reading your document or convince them of whatever pragmatic goal you are trying to accomplish. You can do this by appealing to values or emotions as well as using tone to add energy to your writing. In addition, you can influence how people think, feel, or act by concentrating on shaping their attitudes. In a professional setting, you may be concerned with your readers’ attitudes toward such subjects as products, people’s actions or business situations, etc.

Plain Text
First, ask yourself what style is appropriate for the text you are going to write. What kind of task or document requires a plain text?

Here are a few guidelines for generating plain texts.
1. Use active sentences; that is, write sentences in which the subject is the doer of the action. Try to use active voice in about 70-75% of your sentences.
a. Do readers need to know who is responsible for the action?
Example:
A mistake was made.
My boss made a mistake.
b. Do readers care about the agency?
Example:
These shoes were made in China.
Someone made these shoes in China.
c. What do you want to emphasize?
Example:
The boy was hit by a black Toyota.
A black Toyota hit the boy.

2. The topic of your sentence should come early in the sentence.
Example:
If the Cascade Mountains experience yet another drought this
year, the pine trees will experience heavy mountain pine beetle damage.

The pine trees in the Cascade Mountains will experience heavy mountain
pine beetle damage if drought conditions occur again this year.

3. Eliminate nominalizations wherever possible. Put action into your verbs.
Definition: A nominalization is a verb or adjective that has been turned into a noun.
Examples:
1a. Management has an expectation that the project will come in under its
deadline.
1b. Management expects the project to come in under its deadline.

2a. The team’s discussion allowed us to make a decision about the
purchase of a new x-ray machine.
2b. The team discussed the matter and decided to purchase a new x-ray
machine.
Rationale
• People usually think in terms of people, places, or things.
• Some people mistakenly believe nominalizations sound more formal or important.

4. Eliminate prepositional phrases wherever possible.
Examples:
a. The decline in the number of businesses owned by locals in King County is a demonstration of the increasing hardships faced by long-time residents.
b. King County’s declining number of locally owned businesses demonstrates increasing hardships faced by long-term residents.

5. Avoid formulaic phrases, wordiness, and redundancy. (We will also spend more time with this in later assignments)
a. Over the most recent monthly period, there has been a large increase in the number of complaints that customers have made about poor
service because it has been too slow. (30 words)
b. Last month, many more customers complained about slow service. (9 words)

6. Keep your sentence structure relatively short or as short as is appropriate for text.

7. Keep your subjects aligned.
a. The electronic components in automobiles lead car owners to be suspicious about the honesty of car mechanics. Although they may be fairly knowledgeable about the mechanical workings of their automobile, car owners rarely understand the nature and scope of the electronic repairs needed in modern automobiles. For instance, the function and importance of a transmission are generally well known to all car owners, but the wire harnesses and printed circuit boards that regulate fuel consumption are less familiar. Repairs for these electronic components can run over $400—a large amount for a customer who cannot visualize what a wire harness or circuit board looks like. In contrast, a $400 charge for a transmission, while distressing, is more readily understood.

b. Due to their lack of knowledge about electronics, some car owners are skeptical about the honesty of car mechanics when repairs involve electronic components. Most car owners are fairly knowledgeable about the mechanical features of their automobiles but rarely understand the nature and scope of electronic repairs. For instance, many people recognize the function and importance of a transmission; however, the average person knows little about the wire harness or circuit boards that regulate fuel consumption. Therefore, for average car owners, a $400 repair for these electronic components seems excessive, especially when they can’t even visualize what they look like. In contrast, they may think a $400 charge to fix a transmission, while distressing, is more acceptable.

Note: How would you change the emphasis in this paragraph to stress the
repairs?

Persuasive Text
Of course, there are many tasks that require more than just simply presenting information. You will need to influence your readers or convince them of your expert opinion. It should be used when readers are expected to take some action or make a decision. In these situations, you will need to use a more persuasive style. This is a more difficult style for many. Is there a secret to writing persuasively? One quick suggestion is to make sure your document or text is reader-focused. To do this, you can change your “I” or “we” to you whenever possible. In this way, you will see the document through the eyes of your reader. By focusing on the reader’s needs, you can make a more lasting impression.

Here a few guidelines for generating persuasive texts:

1. Pay attention to your tone. Tone is the way to appeal to the “inner voice” of your reader and will persuade him or her to keep reading or stay open to your appeal. One way to do this is to decide what emotion or attitude you want your reader’s to adopt. Then, choose words that evoke that feeling.

• If you want your reader to be excited, choose your words accordingly. Some examples of this are as follows: excitement, inspiring, passion, intensity, power, energy, motivating, etc.
• If you want your reader to trust your authority, choose words as follows: security, trust, quality, safety, precision, confidence, certainty, protection, etc.
2. Pay attention to your voice. Through the voice you use, you indicate the role you see yourself playing with respect to your readers. For example, when writing to workers in the department you manage, you might assume the voice of a stern authority or that of an open-minded leader. When instructing a new employee, you might assume the voice of a demanding instructor or helpful guide. It’s up to you.

The voice you assume not only indicates your role but also the role you assign your reader as well. If you assume the voice of an equal writing to a respected peer, your readers will probably accept the implied role as equals. But if you assume the voice of a superior, unerring authority, they may resent their implied role as error-prone inferiors. Although they may not speak the words, they may think that you have no right to talk to them like that. If your readers respond to your voice negatively, they are less likely to receive your message favorably.

a. Domineering voice: I have scheduled a meeting tomorrow to discuss the failure of your department to meet its production targets.

b. Supportive (more persuasive) voice: Let’s meet tomorrow to look at last month’s production targets for your department.

3. Use similes or metaphors. These should be appropriate for your readers and their level of expertise.

Example: An integrated circuit is like a miniature Manhattan crammed into a space less than one centimeter long. Would you use this simile for a reader who is a computer expert?

Example 2: Everything you see is made up of atoms. An atom is like a very small solar system. Would you use this simile with a scientific audience?

Note: Metaphors for war are common in the US. We have had wars on poverty, cancer, drugs, and inflation. Now, there is even a war on terrorism. Can you think of other common metaphors used in this country?

4. Vary the length and rhythm of your sentences. Shorter sentences quicken the pace of your text, while longer sentences slow it down.

Example: If you want to slow down the pace of your text, then lengthen your sentences and use more complicated sentence structures to give your text a more formal tone.

Example 2: Shorter sentences quicken the pace of your text. They move the reader. Shorter sentences seem more vigorous.

Note: If the situation is urgent, use shorter sentences to show that action needs to be taken right away. This will compel the reader to act.

5. Keep language appropriate for target audience or reader. You need to consider what vocabulary and register is appropriate to convey your message to your reader.
Example: Bob, the team has been working 24-7 on the project since June.
They need a break. What do you think?

Mr. Roberts, the team has been working extremely long hours on
the project for several months now. Would you consider giving
them a day off?

Editing
You have been editing your academic and professional work for some time now, so I don’t feel that we have to spend too much class time discussing this. However, there are some basics about which I would like to remind you.

1. Allow yourself enough time to edit your document. This can be a problem in our busy lives, but it is necessary to protect your professional credibility. Attend to the purpose, audience; and appropriate style, tone, and register.

2. You should remember the following:
a. The coherence of your document.
Definition: Coherence is that quality that is reflected in how the whole text is logically connected.
b. The cohesion of your document.
Definition: Cohesion is that quality that makes your document flow and that allows the reader to move from one idea to the next smoothly. This involves the use of hooks and transitions.
c. Emphasis and subject control. This relates to the emphasis of your various paragraph topics.
d. Vocabulary and voice
e. Accuracy of information
f. Grammar, mechanics and spelling

g. Editing and Proofreading Practice: Please edit and proofread the following introduction to a proposal with a partner. In what order do you think the following paragraphs should be presented? Once you have finished your edit, please proofread this portion of the document.

Growth and Flexibility with Telecommuting

A Proposal to Northside Design

In this proposal, we will first discuss the results of our research into Northside’s office space needs. Second, we will offer a plan for using a telecommuting network to free up more space at Northside’s current office. Third, we will review Insight Systems qualifications to assist Northside with its move into the world of telecommuting. And finally, we will go over some of the costs and advantages of our plan.

Founded in ’79 Northside Design is one of the classic entrepreneurial success stories in architectural design. Today, this company is one of the leading firms in the Chicago market with over fifty million dollars in annual revenue. With growth, however, come growing pains and Northside now faces an important decsion about how it will manage their growth in the near future. The right decision could lead it to more market share, increasing sales, and even more prominence in the architectural field. However, Northeside also needs to safeguard itself against over-extension in case the Chicago construction market unexpectedly begins to recede.

To help you make the right decision, this proposal offers an innovation strategy that will support your firm’s growth while maintaining its flexibility. Specifically, we propose Northside should implement a telecommuting network that allows selected employees to work a few days each week at home. Telecommuting will provide your company with the office space it needs to continue growing. Meanwhile, this approach will avoid a large investment in new facilities and disruption to the company’s current operations.