Family in Asia

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Family in Asia

Introduction

Majority of the parents want their children to have a better life than they had. It is the wish and the joy of these parents to see their children get a college education as a reflection of a higher achievement, have a better job, drive a better car, have a happier marriage, just to mention but a few. However, these wishes, wants and demands have their share of challenges and disappointments. It is therefore significant for family members to acquire an understanding of the same, especially with regard to social mobility particularly on the family-child relationship.

Discussion

According to the exchange theory, rational individuals are motivated by the anticipated profit they will achieve after a particular objective is accomplished (SOC 261, unit 1). This largely motivates some parents to encourage their children into targeting larger job positions upon school clearance. In most cases, parents expect to automatically be financially and socially well off, if children end up attaining the desired social mobility. However, this was not the case for my parents. They simply wanted us, as their children, to end up having a better life both socially and economically for our own good and our children’s wellbeing.

Like most Asian families, I come from a modified extended family (MEF). However, ours was not an ideal Asian family setting where the whole extended family deals with different issues together (SOC 261, unit 1). In fact, one can view us as a nuclear family since we conduct our family life in such a manner. The only difference is that we live in close proximity to my grand parents and my other relatives. This means that when making some major decisions, the rest of the extended family has to be involved.

My family comprises of two elder sisters, my younger brother, both my parents and me. The extended family is much larger than this. We were not financially well off but my parents definitely used to make our ends meet. I have carefully chosen the words “used to” because things have changed now. In fact, the primary reason why we were not viewed as an ideal family in the context of Asian settings was due to our financial restrictions. Adopting the complete three-generational family or the typical traditional Asian extended family would have really strain us financially. This is why my parents chose the modern nuclear family setting.

As the symbolic theory implies, my parents fashioned our small family in a way that we would contribute positively to the larger unit of the society (SOC 261, Unit 1). They taught us about being courteous, honest, trustworthy, supportive, and above all, loving. In addition, they constantly reminded us that love and small actions keep families together. They also told us that on the contrary, small negative actions make a family fall apart; they made us work hard in our academics so that we could make a better life for ourselves. What I like most about my parents is that they also encouraged us to be creative and to avoid entirely depending on our books for a better future.

Concisely, we were a happy family. Unfortunately, things have since changed. My two elder sisters finished school and started earning. My eldest sister ventured into her own clothes-designing business while my other sister got a well paying job as a marketing manager in an international company. This acted as a turning point in our family. Money is no longer much of a problem since my sisters support us and father started a business that is thriving.

As the monetary aspect of our family noted an improvement, others noted a demarcation. Constant family gatherings and time assumed an oblivious state. My eldest sister could only be avail a single visit each month, moving to one visit in three months, then to once in six months and presently to almost once in a year. Phone calls have replaced actual physical meetings. The relationship between the rest of the family and my sisters is either stagnant or lacking. The only tangible relationship is the financial association noted when one of my sisters enquires whether we have any monetary difficulties.

I later found out that I was not the only one who was going through such experiences. During lunchtime discussions with my schoolmates who come from well up families, I realized that family meetings or family time was not of any prevalence in the given families. Everybody is always acting too busy with his/her own affairs and only allow collective gatherings on very special occasions such as funerals, Christmas or another family event that is compulsory. Most family members always offer excuses for the refutation of family time by citing business trips, meetings, and transactions, just to mention a few.

The conflict theory suggests that people have diverse interests; they only compromise in order to attain a consensus and thus a harmonious living (Quah, 2009). This theory poses a challenge to families where children have achieved vertical social mobility as advised by their parents. To these children, time cannot be compromised, even if it means that time is spent well within the family; there is always something better to accomplish.

When analyzing these observations, I am not generalizing given concepts or offering abstract occurrences. I am stating from what I have observed from personal experiences. In other cases, this social/economical upgrading attracts other parties that may have been inexistent in given instances. Some time back, my relatives were not frequent visitors to our home. It was painful to see that in most instances they did not like being associated with us. However, since my sisters achieved an upwards social mobility, they have almost become part of our nuclear family thus making it an extended family. Most of these relatives constantly keep in touch because of their own selfish reasons.

As the symbolic interaction theory implies, each family member has his/her role to play and again, each member has expectations towards other members within the family setting (Quah, 2009). Parents have their roles to play in ensuring that children get a better life and this acts as one of the primary reasons why they encourage children to attain an upward mobility. Consequently, parents expect their children to be there for them when need arises. A parent’s wish does not include children who are too preoccupied to offer family time.

A notable limitation is noted when parents advise their children yet normally refrain from preparing them for such outcomes. My parents were diligent in advising us to work hard, attain good grades and maintain good jobs. They encouraged us to start our own businesses as and in the long term, it really offered great gains. Notably, they did not act as sex role stereotypes and so they encouraged us to venture into all fields including those that were male dominated (SOC 261, unit 2). My younger brother was also encouraged to venture in to fields that are female dominated. According to my parents, there is no such place as the ‘woman’s place’ or a ‘man’s place’; the only momentous thing is that people should earn their places. Unfortunately, like many other parents, they did not teach us what to expect after social mobility is achieved, and this was only attained through experience. Through the same, I have come to learn how to handle wealth and change of social status through my sisters’ and my friends’ experiences. It is quite imperative for parents to prepare their children for such outcomes.

The developmental theory implies that families face different stages that render life as a cycle (SOC 261, unit 1). Parents should also prepare children for stages where children attain the earning aspect as well as the old age stage. Family time remains a significant aspect whether a family has money or not, since it is at this period where members get to relate with each other and share love as a family. Due to the modernity and change of social structures and norms, people get to choose their own spouses unlike in the past where parents or the extended family members selected spouses for their children. My family and families of most of my friends align to this modern approach. However, parents have not been forbidden from offering opinions in response to child’s boyfriend/suitor because in most cases, such comments are aired in good faith. Nevertheless, most children view it as though parents are trying to control their lives. It is therefore essential for children to understand that attaining social mobility does not mean that parents are forbidden from airing their views.

Every unit of the society is significant. The family, being a community unit that bears its own right as an entity should strive towards perfection in order to contribute to societal excellence (SOC 261, unit 2). Social mobility gives rise to other problems that contribute to the general degradation of the whole society. I experienced instances where my parents would argue over methods of handling us in terms of parenting. My mother felt that my father was being too lenient on my sisters just because they had accomplished what he wanted for them while my father felt that my mother was holding too tight on them even when they were grown ups.

Conclusion

Social mobility should be encouraged but as parents support their children towards becoming better individuals, they should also prepare them for the latter life. It is significant for parents and other family members to uphold interacting sessions and meetings as important relating elements. Additionally, all family units should be upheld as essential societal institutes, despite the social status. A poor family structure tends to deteriorate a societal system holistically with time. All developmental family stages should be prepared and clearly relayed across because experience does not always serve as the best teacher.

References

Quah, S.R. (2009). Families in Asia, Home and Kin. London, UK: Routledge.

SOC 261. Sociology of Family, Unit I. Class Readings.

SOC 261. Sociology of Family, Unit 2. Class Readings.